The Things Men Get Away With

I do apologise guys but I'm selling you out a little here, in order to find out just why some women are fruit loops.

So I'm rolling down the road, well I can't exactly call it walking now can I, minding my own business. Next to me is my partner and child as we walk home from picking up the groceries. What can possibly happen here? My partner is dressed in a lovely dress but it's not revealing or provocative, it simply works her natural assets. I look to my right and see a common sight, a guy with his jaw falling out of the car window and onto the road. Fortunately for him he was stuck in traffic otherwise the concrete of the road would have given him serious friction burns on that hanging mouth of his. This is standard fare and has always been the case since day one and really doesn't bother me. That isn't what I noticed the most though, what I noticed was the fact that he wasn't the only one in the car.

As I look past the driver, I find to my slight surprise, his significant other. However then as I looked closer I got an even bigger shock, this girlfriend/wife/lover/whatever was making dagger eyes in my partners direction. I don't just mean a slight glare, I mean "I'm going to find some sharp object in this here glove compartment and drive it into any exposed part of your body and if I can't find said exposed part, I'll take my chances with a covered area!" This woman was hopping mad whilst her drooling man, who was probably at this point suffering lock-jaw continued dribbling to the point that he failed to realise the car was moving.

So here is my question to the women out there...

Why does the woman in the car blame the woman on the pavement (sidewalk for the Americans) who is pushing a baby in a buggy? Why does she not spin around and yell at the letch also known as her man in a style resembling something out of The Exorcist? Or alternatively play it cool, say nothing and if it bothers her that much, deprive him of sex until a time where she feels that his balls have turned blue enough to make him desperately apologetic. Instead it seems that women innocently leaving the house aren't actually allowed to because certain men cannot control their genitals and their women cannot keep them in check.

It's a funny old world.

The Sex Appeal Of A Telephone Booth?

Now I am open minded about a lot of things but since when has a telephone booth conjured up images of sex? It's not like you can easily fit more than one person in them after all. Unless you're a midget like me...Hm, I'm getting ideas now...

Ahem, excuse me I got distracted. Before anyone gets too worried about my sanity, I am actually talking about the brand new series of Doctor Who and the criticisms it had received about it being too sexy. Complaints were made to the BBC about the TARDIS which has taken the form of a police telephone box since the 1960s and how it has been 'sexed up'. I am intrigued as to how you sex up a phone booth, cover it in lace and leave whips, chains and other apparel lying around inside? Then there were the slightly more plausible raised eyebrows over the Doctor, played by Matt Smith, having a companion called Amy Pond (Karen Gillan) who spent some of the episode dressed up in a 'sexy' police kissogram outfit. Complaints were levelled at the writers for ruining Doctor Who by focussing on tarty women and implications of nudity, such was the 'outrage'.

Maybe I missed this hardcore porn movie that occured before the watershed last Saturday night because that's not what I saw. In fact, I barely took any notice of Amy Pond, the TARDIS swimming pool and the Doctors nudity which was actually merely a shot of his torso. It's a little flesh and innuendo people, there were no nipples, cocks, balls or anything else which could be seen to be even hinting towards any of the characters getting down and dirty. It actually makes me sad that parents are that uncomfortable about the content of the episode and the message that sends out to their children. If there are questions raised around the dinner table about why Amy Pond couldn't take her eyes off the 'naked' Doctor, be a responsible parent and explain it rather than rushing off to mutate into a Keyboard Warrior wasting their time raging about something that's been and gone.

Personally I'm more concerned about the fact that David Tennant is no more.

Credit: The Daily Telegraph for the original story.